To live in my country.

Disclaimer: i am not trying to say that i am better than anyone, i am not trying to bash anyone (maybe i am, a little bit) this is just me talking about my hometown, but it can also apply to all Algeria, so yeah.
I live in Algeria, the biggest country in Africa (after the parting of Sudan) the richest country in Africa, we have a little bit of everything, the most diverse climate ever, my country is a rich country, that has the abilities of living like the middle east people, maybe a lot more, but that's a talk for another time.
What I'm going to talk about in this blogpost, is, what it is like, to live in my country, dear Algeria, from a girl's point of view, so guys calm the fuck down.
I'll start with something good, in my country, there is no suicides from bullying, because if someone bullies you, you can kick their butt, and everyone will be on your side, because you're right, and if you can't you can bring one of your family or relatives to do it, all is good (i am talking about individuals here, not the general government to people bullying)
In my country, a girl can't be anything, she can't wear anything, she can't look anyway, without her being criticised, doesn't matter whether you're tall, short, average, fat, curvy, thin, skinny, beautiful, ugly, it doesn't fucking matter, you will be criticised, the least they can say about you when you look perfect is: she's a slut, nobody is that good looking and not be a slut.
In my country, god forbid you wear clothes that you like, god forbid you wear something loose, or something tight, god forbid you wear something short or something long, god forbid you wear too much to no makeup at all, you WILL be judged, badly.
In my country, we don't do outside activities, jogging in the morning? what? are you nuts? have you lost it? Na uh, cinemas? what the hell you mean by cinemas? we don't even have cinemas in here, so we have to wait for the movie to come on the Internet to watch it, sports? Na girl that's for boys, and of course the most popular and most available sport is: yes, you guessed it, it is football.
In my country, you get hit on in the street, in a very rude way, but then when you decline, either nicely or rudely, that depends, you get called names, like bad bad names that are really offencive, and cringe worthy that you can't help but just put your head down and walk away, because the other people on the street will not try to help you, instead they give you the girl, these looks of disdain and conviction, like it was your fault, and not the excuse of a human being that is calling you by these horrid names.
In my country, if you are not married by the age of 25, there is something wrong with you, you are not good for marriage anymore, you're damaged goods, although there's nothing wrong with you, maybe you're still studying, maybe you're following your dreams, maybe you haven't found the person you are ready to spend the rest of your life with, but no, no one will understand, and if someone came asking for your hand in marriage after 25 your parents will give you to him right away, especially if you have the old type parents, you have no right to protest or refuse, and you won't want to anyway because you yourself will start to feel like damaged goods.
In my country, a girl can't speak for herself, ever, you are always expected to be quiet and shut up at all times, and if you do speak for yourself, you will be considered rude, impolite, and not a good human being in general.
in my country, if you're not blond, you don't qualify as a pretty woman, if you have brown or red or black hair, you're yuk, but if you have blond locks, even if they're not real, you will be the most attractive woman ever, that is why most women in my country have bleached hair, they don't care if it matches their skin tone, they don't give a shit about hair damage, they only care about looking pretty in blond.
I'm not joking this is completely real, the things i have mentioned are real and happen on daily basis, i will update when i get the list complete, this was a rant because i felt fed up, so excuse me for it.
you know what no, don't excuse me, i am good, i said what i wanted to say, and i am happy about it, not meaning to be rude or anything, but the truth is the truth.
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To be honest

Life has been a bit foggy lately, I'm at a point in my life where i don't know what the fuck I'm doing and it is getting on my last nerve.
life is progressing, everything is moving, and fast, nothing is going slowly, i don't have any plans for my future, i don't think i know what is it that i want to do, i have waisted 3 years of my life studying something that i have no interest in pursue as a career and it is morbid, sad, frustrating, and stressful.
lately, in Algeria, there are strikes all over the country, demanding changes, in the educational system, and they have been going on for a month now, a month, do u know how many hours i have waisted in this month, just contemplating my future, the path that i want to take, but came up with nothing? this year in university, studying architecture was supposed to be my last, and afterwards was the path of my career, which has nothing to do with architecture, not whatsoever, but i have been content, because i never wanted to be an architect to begin with, so it was all good, i thought i had it all down to the last detail, but now that i had some time to think about it, i realised i don't know shit.
and then there is the matter of being single for as long as i lived, that also wasn't a problem before, but i think I'm at a point in my life where human company, and having a significant other is crucial, i didn't think i need it before, but now i kind of think i do.
i want to work, i want to study, i want to fall in love and be loved, i want to travel the world and meet new people, i want to try different foods from different countries and enjoy life, i want to do it all now, while I'm still young, life is passing me by, i can feel it, i can feel the clock ticking past me,and i fucking hate it.

Challenge: Random, small acts of kindness.

Now, if you know me at all, which is to be done, hopefully through this blog, you will know right away that I'm not fond of.....public settings. I don't like gatherings and and i get socially anxious around people, i am not afraid to say that I'm afraid of people, yes, i am; i know most of them won't hurt me physically -unless they are murderers or rapists- i know that. I am mostly afraid of the emotional pain, feeling like I've annoyed them, or invaded their personal space, and that terrifies me, I'm shy and quiet, i don't like attention, i try to avoid places where there are a lot of people, like weddings, malls, the streets, the public transportation, it seems bad but really it is really comforting for me.
But as i said in an earlier post, I'm trying to change my life for the better, by that i don't mean become more social, or lose my anxiety, it is not true, because i see no point in being miserable with people rather than being happy alone, i love my lonelyness and i think it's the best thing about me. what I'm talking about here, or the new challenge I'm setting for myself, is trying t help as many people as i can in my life time.
Approaching people to ask them for help Can be as scary as approaching them to help them, i know that because I've had experiences in which i tried to help people but they rejected it.
My new challenge is try to help people more but do things in small amounts, small things at a time that may get them a long way or just i don't know just help them, like pushing someone's wheelchair, or a small donation or telling directions to a stranger these kind of seemingly insignificant but really important.
And before you ask: yes i don't do these things often, because i have the bravery of a chicken nugget and I'm afraid to let my voice out, besides; when I'm walking on the streets no one really approaches me for help, because i developed this look on my face, to prevent from getting called fat or ugly or whatever people like to call others, a look of sheer disgust and evil, i literally look like I'm going to slaughter new Born's with puppys' jaw bones -sorry for the image-.
So yeah, i hope that anyone that this reaches, will do at least one good act a day, the world would be a much better place, and maybe we can evolve into doing colossal works for the sake of the human kind, you never know friends :).
also, please follow this blog :) because i know you're cool :).

The Tumblr!

Yes, you guessed it by the title (which was very obvious, but that's not the point here) I'm going to talk about the internet's dark abyss, the tumblr.

Now for those of you who don't know what tumblr is, or don't care, it's a blogging website, you go there, open a profile, have a blog and then you can post whatever you like there, and re post whatever you find compatible with your way of thinking, yep, that's pretty much it.

But no, that's not true my friends, tumblr, unlike any other social website, is the most ,weird, hostile, friendly, racist, forgiving, graphic, polite, scientific, stupid, sick website ever, tumblr is the most unfriendly friendly environment ever, it is where you go, to laugh, cry, feel a tad bit disgusted, maybe educated a bit, and u can do all of that by just following some interesting blogs, or searching some tags.

What is really popular on tumblr nowadays though is fandoms and shipping and feels, so much feels you can't even,asdfjkgl, i mean it's the most important part of tumblr, you see a show or a film or read a book, and you evolve this fondness for certain characters, and the you evolve your own theory on who you think should be together and the fanfics and the fan art that sometimes can be a bit graphic (or a lot, cringe worthy really) is spread all over and you can't help but see it on your dash.

Or the scientific side of tumblr, the place where you find an explanation to everything that is happening, in this whole universe, the people on the scientific side can also make up facts for you just to explain that thing that has been going on in your head that you can find no explanation to, it's amazing and extremely educational, and if not, highly entertaining.

But my personal favourite part of the tumblr is the puny side, now this side can be aggravating for some people at times, but if you are having a bad day or just want to have a nice laugh, or want to lighten the mood a little bit, these clever puns will definitely do the trick for you, i know they always cheer me up, or maybe I'm just one of those annoying people (i make puns all the times).

The tumblr, although publicised as the most friendly website on the Internet, a welcoming environment for all shapes and sizes and races and sexual orientations, but it's all bullshit, because tumblr is the most aggressive website ever, if you don't agree with their opinion, or their ship, or don't watch their favourite show (fucking doctor who) or god forbid you say that Benedict cumberbatch isn't the best Sherlock Holmes of all time, you will die, not metaphorically, they will get on a plane, come to your house, stab you, and then leave just as simple as that, never say that Benedict is not the best Sherlock, never.

It is also the most relatable website ever for troubled human beings that feel alone and like nobody understands them in the world, you can always find someone that understands what you're going through in tumblr, always, this, is the best thing about tumblr, when it comes down to it, they're there for you, even from a continent away.it's beautiful.

so yeah, that was my little rant about the tumblr.

please follow this blog, because i know you're cool :)

Living on the edge.

Alright, maybe the title is a bit misguiding, it's not about living on edge as much as it is about challenges, small, maybe simple in the outside perspective, but for you they mean so much.
Because, lets be honest with each other, i for one and i know many people out there like me do this, we compare ourselves to other people, people that we don' even fucking know, but the truth is: the only person that's going to live your life is you, you will have to endure every second of it, imagine going through all of your life wishing you were Paris Hilton, or Kim Kardashian, this will destroy you eventually, slowly but surely.
I'm having a huge existential crisis right now, wondering every single moment whether my Life will turn out the way i want it to, I'm 21 years old, still in the university for the third year, in a major that i find rather interesting but not to the point where i have to spend my whole life stuck in it, the only thing I'm doing right now is the things that i hate, and I've come to realise that life is passing me by, I'm just studying and waiting for it to happen, but I'm making no effort in the process of making it happen.
I've also came to realise that I'm going to die alone, that is not a scary notion to me at all, because the way i see it we all die alone, that's just life, even if you are surrounded by your loved ones at your death bed, you are going to die and leave them, no one is going to escort you to the after life, but before that happens i want to say that i did everything I've wanted to do, starting with small, seemingly insignificant things.
To start with my new plan I'm going to end my architecture studies this year, this year will be my last year of studying architecture, it was a deal with both of my parents that i should at least do this, and then i can do whatever i want, this is a huge decision, but it was easy for me, because, i want to explore my choices and do more in life than just be an architecture student, that has no future, especially in my country.
the other thing that I'm attempting is setting these little challenges for myself and completing them no matter what, like going to weddings, which i hate but last night i went to a wedding, it was my best friend's brother's wedding, now i normally just make excuses and skip, and my friends know that they're excuses and be angry with me for a while but then realise that I'm a douche bag that hates people, and crammed places and people in crammed places, and they just let it go, but this time i even surprised myself when i said that i will come, i kept having doubts and excuses all day, but i pushed them aside, i dressed up, did my makeup, did my hair, stepped on my self doubt and just went, it's true that i had a terrible time, it's true that i had an anxiety attack because of all the people that were there, it's true that  it was probably the worst idea  I've ever had, but i did it, just like i promised myself i would, and it felt good, i felt accomplished, and proud.
one more thing i did ,was jump out of a moving train, i did it, i didn't think about the consequences, i just did it because it was a massive thing in my head, i just had to do it one day, but I've been postponing it for 3 years,until it just came, that day i just set my mind on it in the morning and got on the train and while it was about to stop i got off, it's true that i face planted, and its true that i was sore for 2 days afterwards,and it's true that all the passengers laughed at me, shit i laughed at myself, but i did it, just like i promised myself, and it felt good.
i guess what I'm trying to say is that discovering yourself and reaching your limits, physically and mentally doesn't have to wait until you're 40 or 30, you can start now, act now, do things that get you off your dark little box, even if they were small things, because that is how everything great starts. you can get inspired by what others do, but don't compare yourself to them, you'll feel much better at the end, trust me, the only person you have to impress is you.
you know what you should do first, follow this blog, because i know you're cool.
have a very nice day.

Obsessed With Youtubers.

Lately, i discovered that i have a disease, they call it in the new world: you tubers obsession,I'm obsessed with these people that face the camera, do things, or say things, and you know what? I'm not even sorry. If you don't know what a youtuber is, patricks( eh, get it, because you live under a rock.)a youtuber is a person who sits in front of a camera, at home or anywhere else, filming himself, alone or with other people doing things or talking about things, that vary from one youtuber to the other, so they basically put their selves out there for the whole world to see. Which is the bravest thing you can do, in today's world, that is full of criticism and opinionated individuals. As a human being, i can understand the pressure that these fellow humans are under, i mean do you imagine putting yourself out there for the whole world to judge you? to put a video on the Internet-which we all know is scary place sometimes- and just wait there, and read all types of things that people may say about you, and believe me, I've read some of those things and they're very offensive, and hurt like hell, some of them are creepy, and some of them are cringe worthy to say the least. It's not only about the scrutiny of being in the public eye, it's also the stress of coming up with fresh ideas to put on your channel, something that hasn't been done before, which is also hard, all the original ideas are taken, you name it, it has been done before, or at least that's what we thought, until your favourite youtuber uploads a video under the title "inappropriate unicycling" or "how to parent your dog" and you think "what? how are they doing this? now I've seen it all" until their next video and your mind is blown all over again. And these people are like really talented,they are good at what they do, whether it be beauty gurus, comedians, life hackers, inspirational talkers, you name it, they are good at it, and they make it look so fucking easy, but it's really not. Ive tried it and it is hard, and i applaud them for that. But one thing may skip the mind of the masses is that these are normal human beings, yes they may be gorgeous, yes they are hot, yes they are talented, but they're just like us, they have lives that they want to keep private too, even when they expose a huge portion of it on you tube, they still want privacy, which in the end they may not have, and that is sad, I think that what we need to remember here is that youtubers are normal human beings with abnormal jobs, jobs that didn't exist up to 20 years ago, their privacy and life control is important, they need to feel loved and appreciated, but not to the point of smothering them, because they really do put a smile on my face and I'm sure they do to you too, if you follow them of course. and if you don't, I advise you to, because they can change your life in ways you've never imagined, and I think that's an amazing thing that they do, change people's lives from afar, just by being themselves. please follow this blog, because i know you're cool!

The comeback!

I know, i've been gone for like ages and ages on end and i want to say to whom ever that is reading this: i am sorry.
The self control and discipline levels that  have are the same of a child in willy wonka's chocolate factory, basicaly none, and i feel bad for that, but i had like a wake up call a few days ago, i won't be young forever, there is no guarantee that i will live until tomorrow, there is only today, and today is what i will work with.
In this project that i am starting to better myself and my life i am starting with this blog, i've deserted it and now i feel like a horrible person, but this will be my comeback for the world of blogging.
I am not a perfect person, hell, i am the farthest thing away from perfect, but i will make this promise, to you all and to myself that every week, nomatter what my circumstances are, there WILL be a post every week, this is my resolution.
please follow this blog :) because you're cool!