Living on the edge.

Alright, maybe the title is a bit misguiding, it's not about living on edge as much as it is about challenges, small, maybe simple in the outside perspective, but for you they mean so much.
Because, lets be honest with each other, i for one and i know many people out there like me do this, we compare ourselves to other people, people that we don' even fucking know, but the truth is: the only person that's going to live your life is you, you will have to endure every second of it, imagine going through all of your life wishing you were Paris Hilton, or Kim Kardashian, this will destroy you eventually, slowly but surely.
I'm having a huge existential crisis right now, wondering every single moment whether my Life will turn out the way i want it to, I'm 21 years old, still in the university for the third year, in a major that i find rather interesting but not to the point where i have to spend my whole life stuck in it, the only thing I'm doing right now is the things that i hate, and I've come to realise that life is passing me by, I'm just studying and waiting for it to happen, but I'm making no effort in the process of making it happen.
I've also came to realise that I'm going to die alone, that is not a scary notion to me at all, because the way i see it we all die alone, that's just life, even if you are surrounded by your loved ones at your death bed, you are going to die and leave them, no one is going to escort you to the after life, but before that happens i want to say that i did everything I've wanted to do, starting with small, seemingly insignificant things.
To start with my new plan I'm going to end my architecture studies this year, this year will be my last year of studying architecture, it was a deal with both of my parents that i should at least do this, and then i can do whatever i want, this is a huge decision, but it was easy for me, because, i want to explore my choices and do more in life than just be an architecture student, that has no future, especially in my country.
the other thing that I'm attempting is setting these little challenges for myself and completing them no matter what, like going to weddings, which i hate but last night i went to a wedding, it was my best friend's brother's wedding, now i normally just make excuses and skip, and my friends know that they're excuses and be angry with me for a while but then realise that I'm a douche bag that hates people, and crammed places and people in crammed places, and they just let it go, but this time i even surprised myself when i said that i will come, i kept having doubts and excuses all day, but i pushed them aside, i dressed up, did my makeup, did my hair, stepped on my self doubt and just went, it's true that i had a terrible time, it's true that i had an anxiety attack because of all the people that were there, it's true that  it was probably the worst idea  I've ever had, but i did it, just like i promised myself i would, and it felt good, i felt accomplished, and proud.
one more thing i did ,was jump out of a moving train, i did it, i didn't think about the consequences, i just did it because it was a massive thing in my head, i just had to do it one day, but I've been postponing it for 3 years,until it just came, that day i just set my mind on it in the morning and got on the train and while it was about to stop i got off, it's true that i face planted, and its true that i was sore for 2 days afterwards,and it's true that all the passengers laughed at me, shit i laughed at myself, but i did it, just like i promised myself, and it felt good.
i guess what I'm trying to say is that discovering yourself and reaching your limits, physically and mentally doesn't have to wait until you're 40 or 30, you can start now, act now, do things that get you off your dark little box, even if they were small things, because that is how everything great starts. you can get inspired by what others do, but don't compare yourself to them, you'll feel much better at the end, trust me, the only person you have to impress is you.
you know what you should do first, follow this blog, because i know you're cool.
have a very nice day.

Obsessed With Youtubers.

Lately, i discovered that i have a disease, they call it in the new world: you tubers obsession,I'm obsessed with these people that face the camera, do things, or say things, and you know what? I'm not even sorry. If you don't know what a youtuber is, patricks( eh, get it, because you live under a rock.)a youtuber is a person who sits in front of a camera, at home or anywhere else, filming himself, alone or with other people doing things or talking about things, that vary from one youtuber to the other, so they basically put their selves out there for the whole world to see. Which is the bravest thing you can do, in today's world, that is full of criticism and opinionated individuals. As a human being, i can understand the pressure that these fellow humans are under, i mean do you imagine putting yourself out there for the whole world to judge you? to put a video on the Internet-which we all know is scary place sometimes- and just wait there, and read all types of things that people may say about you, and believe me, I've read some of those things and they're very offensive, and hurt like hell, some of them are creepy, and some of them are cringe worthy to say the least. It's not only about the scrutiny of being in the public eye, it's also the stress of coming up with fresh ideas to put on your channel, something that hasn't been done before, which is also hard, all the original ideas are taken, you name it, it has been done before, or at least that's what we thought, until your favourite youtuber uploads a video under the title "inappropriate unicycling" or "how to parent your dog" and you think "what? how are they doing this? now I've seen it all" until their next video and your mind is blown all over again. And these people are like really talented,they are good at what they do, whether it be beauty gurus, comedians, life hackers, inspirational talkers, you name it, they are good at it, and they make it look so fucking easy, but it's really not. Ive tried it and it is hard, and i applaud them for that. But one thing may skip the mind of the masses is that these are normal human beings, yes they may be gorgeous, yes they are hot, yes they are talented, but they're just like us, they have lives that they want to keep private too, even when they expose a huge portion of it on you tube, they still want privacy, which in the end they may not have, and that is sad, I think that what we need to remember here is that youtubers are normal human beings with abnormal jobs, jobs that didn't exist up to 20 years ago, their privacy and life control is important, they need to feel loved and appreciated, but not to the point of smothering them, because they really do put a smile on my face and I'm sure they do to you too, if you follow them of course. and if you don't, I advise you to, because they can change your life in ways you've never imagined, and I think that's an amazing thing that they do, change people's lives from afar, just by being themselves. please follow this blog, because i know you're cool!

The comeback!

I know, i've been gone for like ages and ages on end and i want to say to whom ever that is reading this: i am sorry.
The self control and discipline levels that  have are the same of a child in willy wonka's chocolate factory, basicaly none, and i feel bad for that, but i had like a wake up call a few days ago, i won't be young forever, there is no guarantee that i will live until tomorrow, there is only today, and today is what i will work with.
In this project that i am starting to better myself and my life i am starting with this blog, i've deserted it and now i feel like a horrible person, but this will be my comeback for the world of blogging.
I am not a perfect person, hell, i am the farthest thing away from perfect, but i will make this promise, to you all and to myself that every week, nomatter what my circumstances are, there WILL be a post every week, this is my resolution.
please follow this blog :) because you're cool!